Warning: parts of this post may make you hate me...
I have long, straight, and very thick hair. Over the years I've learned that pretty much everyone dreams of having hair like mine, at least the straight and thick part since they rarely go together, but it's really a pain in many ways. I've been dyeing it since I was 9, and settled on red for good when I was about 18. Despite the long-term mistreatment, it grows about an inch or more per month.
Of course, I've spent a lot of my life trying to get my hair to curl, which is difficult at best. More mistreatment! I have gotten two perms and both fell out in about a day. I've tried hot rollers, sleep-all-night-in-them rollers, spiral rods, steam rollers, every kind of curling iron, and whatever other bizarre gadgets are supposed to add texture to hair. I don't even want to think about how much I've spent on styling products that did nothing to help.
A big misconception about straight hair is that it's easy to find a stylist with any idea of how to cut it properly. In fact, it took me nearly 30 years to find the right one! Luckily, he worked in a salon just a few blocks from my current home. He gave me long layers and a very soft face frame, which are so perfect that I can simply air-dry and brush it, or give it a good blow-out (which he taught me how to do properly) and it looks like I spent hours on it. Best of all, it actually will take a curl now! I had no idea the right cut could accomplish so much.
So, in April I was about to schedule an appointment when I got a card in the mail saying he and a colorist from the same salon were leaving abruptly and opening their own salon a block from my place. Great news, but I need a freakin' haircut!!
Finally, the other day I got another card from them saying the new salon was opening. I went by yesterday and it's STILL NOT OPEN!!! My stylist gave me a tour and explained the massive amounts of problems in getting it all going, and I completely understand, but I repeat: I need a freakin' haircut!
At this point my hair is basically like a blanket with a mind of it's own and ragged edges. It flies into my mouth and nose whenever I give it a chance. It whips me every time I turn my head. Worst of all, it sometimes wraps around my neck while sleeping and tries to strangle me. I won't even go into what happens when I try to kiss my boyfriend or, heaven forbid, have sex. Does my hair actually hate me?
The kicker? The salon is finally opening next week, and I'll be out of town for the next two weeks!